to be awakened
by aviya182
Summary: Elena turns her humanity back on, and now she has to face her emotions and a few new complications that, as always, find a way into her life. She has many people there to help, luckily, and now she needs to face new challenges. Stefan and Damon are there for her, but then again - that can only complicate things more... STELENA!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Oh my god," I look down at the bodies, then at my bloody hands, and up to the two men standing in front of me.

"Did I do this? Did I actually kill these people?" I feel like a frozen glacier - not affected by anything, letting everything just slide off – until the sun comes out. And right now it shines on me with a blinding light, and I'm slowly starting to melt. Every little drop of who I am is sliding off me, and inside me, I feel like I am filling with a thousand emotions at the same time.

"Elena, listen to me. We need to leave. Like, now," I look up at Damon, and feel completely lost – what have I done?

"Elena, please come, and let's get the hell out of here. Come on," he looks so different, I barely recognize him. It's like I forgot him when I forgot myself.

I look back down at the bodies. I recognize some of them. One of them was my age. She was going to graduate- but I killed her. And as I crouch like a wounded animal next to her body, all I can think of is that I'm going to graduate, with my friends and all the people I have left. But this girl won't. And it's my entire fault.

"Oh no. no no no no! I killed her! I killed this girl. She was innocent, but I killed her, and all these other people. Oh god, what did I do?" I sob, reaching out to touch her hand, but it's cold as ice. "No! No, this can't be happening to me! How could I do it? How could you let me?" I yell at Damon, beating the bloody floor with my hands and clutching my chest, trying to stop the monster of emotions in my chest from exploding and overwhelming me.

"Elena, I-"

"No! No, Damon! Don't say anything, ok? Please, just… just help me. Please help me… what did I do to these people? What did I do to myself? And to Bonnie, and to Caroline, and-" I cradle my head in my hands, begging for a release from the weight of the things I had done in the past few weeks.

"Elena," I feel a soft touch on my shoulder. A touch that, unlike the rest of the world, feels familiar to me. Stefan's voice is soothing as he continues, "Elena, listen to me. You need to calm down, ok? Stop thinking of the things you did – you had no control over them. But you're strong, Elena. So strong. And you can survive this. You just need to find something that shows you how good this world is, and give you a reason to live. And you can find that something, I promise you. All you need to do is look for it."

I shake my head silently. "No," I whisper, "I can't." the touch becomes an embrace, and I find myself disappearing in this hug, that holds so much emotion and feeling in it, it makes me feel calm. It makes me feel safe.

"You're going to make it. For my sake. And for Damon's, and Bonnie's, and Caroline's and Matt's – but most of all, for yourself." I look into Stefan's eyes. Eyes that I have come to know so well. I have seen those eyes go through everything. Hurt, loss, pain, Happiness, Excitement. But what I see there, at that moment, is love. Pure, undying love. And as I look into those powerful eyes, I believe him. I can make it. And that is what gives me the strength to get up, and walk away from the bodies and the blood and the death. Because the love that he has for me is the one thing that shows me that there is still good in this world, and beauty. There's love. And that is what ignites the spark of life in me once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**second chapter :)**

**Chapter 2**

Caroline is sitting outside the Salvatore house, and she jumps up to meet us as we get out of Damon's car.

"There you are! I was so worried about y-" she stops short when she sees me. She looks at me with eyes full of terror, and when I try to step closer to her she draws back fearfully. Tears sting my eyes once again at the sight of one of my best friends backing up in fear from me.

"Caroline, I… I'm so sorry for what I did to you. All those things I did, and the things I said… I wish I could take it back. Really," I add, seeing suspicion in her eyes, "I really am sorry. For everything." She looks at Stefan, still slightly suspicious. I see him nodding encouragingly out of the corner of my eye, and the next thing I know Caroline is strangling me in a tight hug, and I can hear her crying silently into my shoulder, and feel her tears falling on it as she holds me close. I hug her back just as furiously, giving in to the feeling of having a friend to lean into once more.

"It's really you… I can't believe it! God, I've missed you. How did you guys do it?" she asks, turning to Damon. He shrugs his shoulders, "I have no clue. One second she was killing any human being she saw and the next she started producing more tears than the Hudson River. I was a little busy playing the hero and saving some guy's ass to see it happen. Stefan, on the other hand," he turns to Stefan and smacks his shoulder, "was right there next to her. So tell us, Stef – what happened there?"

Stefan looks at me softly. "I think," he starts slowly, "that before I tell you the whole thing, this one," he points at me, "needs to clean up and rest a little. After that, I will tell you two everything."

"Come on! We wanna know!"

"Caroline, I really don't think-"

"It's ok, Stefan. Just tell them now, I'm fine meanwhile," I say, but as I look at him I realize he isn't stalling for me – he's stalling for himself. He wants to keep that moment special by making it one only the two of us know about. I smile softly at him, and say, "You know what? I really am quite tired, and I am absolutely filthy, so.. I agree with Stefan." Caroline and Damon sigh loudly and Caroline starts complaining. "But I also wanna know! Please?" I shake my head, stifling a laugh. "Come on… pleeeaaase!"

"Nope."

"Pleeeaaase!"

"No!"

"Please please please!"

"fine!" I say, lifting my hands up in defeat, but giggling at the same time. "You were always good at driving me crazy," I say to Caroline, who claps her hands triumphantly. "You tell them," I say to Stefan, and settle down against the car as he clears his throat and starts talking, speaking directly to me.

"Well, when we got there and saw you draining someone from blood we tried to stop you with force, and maybe seduce you with some vervain so we can take you back and lock you up again. We figured we could take you – you are, after all, much younger than both of us – but you were smart. You knew we didn't want to hurt you and you used it. you got away so easily because you fought back, which we expected you to do, but not with such force. We were afraid we would hurt you if that continued, so we decided to stop that.

"When you started on another body, Damon and I decided that we also needed to save the people who were hurt, not just stop you. That's the point where Damon left you and started feeding his blood to whoever was still alive and compelling them to forget. Now I needed to find a way to stop you alone, and soon.

"But I was still afraid. I was out of ideas. Nothing seemed to work, and I had enough of seeing you suffer, and starve, and scream out in pain. So I did the only thing there was left to do. I started talking." Stefan pauses for a second to look at me silently, and I give him a small smile and gesture for him to continue. I want to walk up to him and wrap my arms around him. I want to find a way to say thank you for what came next. He takes and deep breath and continues, "So… I spoke. I just started talking. I talked about our friends, our families, the day we met. I was just rambling, bringing up every possible memory. I had no idea it would work, but suddenly you stopped and turned to face me. The expression on your face… I have no idea how to describe it. but it was one I hadn't seen in a while. I suppose it was understanding – you were acknowledging what I was saying, and it was all slowly sinking in. and I think that somewhere, deep inside of you, a small part of you remembered what I was talking about, and with that your emotions started resurfacing in your brain. I knew I had to keep talking, so I continued bringing up memories, and talking about everything we had been through.

"At that point you started looking around, and for the first time you really realized what you had done. You were slowly opening up, letting your emotions flood in. and then … I whispered something. I-in your ear. And that – that was the final wake up call. You finally woke up, and you were finally you. And that was it," he ends with a shrug. I look at Caroline, and see her holding a hand to her heart. "That was the sweetest thing I have ever heard," I smile and turn to Damon, agreeing with her, but when I see Damon my smile vanishes. His face reflects shock, and surprisingly – a bit of anger and hurt. He catches my eye briefly, but turns to Stefan immediately.

"What did you whisper in her ear?" Stefan shrugs again. I barely remember anything, you expect me to remember that little thing?" but I can tell he's lying, and so can Damon. "What did you whisper to her?" he asks more forcefully. "Tell me!"

"I don't know!"

"Yes, you do. What was it?"

"I can't remember, ok?"

"Tell me!"

Stefan shakes his head. Damon looks at him, then at me, and back to Stefan. "What did you say?"

"I-"

"He told me he loves me, ok?" I say, annoyed. "He came up to me and whispered 'I love you' into my ear. That's what woke me up."


	3. Chapter 3

**chapter 3 :)**

**i think i'm gonna update every week or so, if you're lucky you'll get a few every week ;)**

**hope you like it!**

**Chapter 3**

Damon stands still and stiff as a statue, and only his eyes show any sign to his being a living creature and not made of stone. And those eyes are full of shock and hurt, and they dart back and forth between me and Stefan.

"Now, if you don't mind, I need to clean up and go to sleep for a while – a long while," I say, and I walk inside with Stefan close behind without another word, leaving Damon looking like he could shoot someone and Caroline – once again – clutching her heart.

"You didn't have to tell him that, you know," Stefan says, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I look straight at him, then reach out to squeeze his hand before letting go quickly, "I wanted him to know," I whisper, then run up to the shower, leaving Stefan behind.

I shower quickly, changing into a big t-shirt that I find in a closet in the bathroom. As I step out into the hall with my hair up in a towel, I start walking towards the guest room, when suddenly – "Elena? Why are you wearing my shirt?" I jump as Damon walks towards me, looking a little better than when I left him. I see his eyes roaming up and down my bare legs for a millisecond, and then he looks back up at my face.

"If you need it I can change into something else," I say, and he shakes his head. "Nah, I don't mind," he says, "goodnight."

"Goodnight, Damon." I turn to walk away.

"Elena." I turn around and face him, "Yeah?"

"I was wondering… was… was the sire bond – you know – the reason you said that?"

"What – that I love you?" he nods. I stop to think about it for a second. Then I look back up at him softly, and shake my head. "No."

"No?" he says, and a spark of hope ignites in his eyes, "it was real?"

"Yes. Those feelings I felt for you – they were all real." He looks confused.

"But then… how come when you heard Stefan saying… what he said – you came back? Technically, that implies that you feel something for him too, and I want – no, I need to know."

I think about it for a moment, and then say slowly, "the sire bond didn't make me feel things I didn't. It just made me forget things I did." He looks completely mixed up.

"You know, if you plan on me understanding anything you say you're gonna need to start being more clear – first step, explain what you just said."

"Damon, the last thing I wanna do is hurt you-"

"Just tell me what it means." I sigh. "It means that it made me forget my feelings for Stefan and left only my feelings for you. It made me forget how much I… how much I love Stefan." He takes a step back, as if I pushed him away. "You love him?" it comes out more a statement than a question. I look into his eyes. "Yes," I say. "Yes, I love him."

Damon tilts his head back, closing his eyes as if he has a serious headache, and then turns and walks away. "Damon, I-"

"Forget it, Elena. Just… give me some time," he says, not bothering to turn around and look at me. I watch him go, and against my will a single tear drops onto my cheek.

"Elena? Are you ok?" this time it's Caroline. I wipe the tear away with the back of my hand and nod, "yeah, I'm fine. Just average teen drama," I say, with a slightly strained voice. Caroline looks at me closely, and then comes up and gives me a hug.

"I have to go now, so you rest for a while, and I'll see you tomorrow," she waves and walks away, yelling, "sleep tight!" as she retreats. "You too," I whisper, and I know she hears me.

I walk towards my room, and as I approach it I pass Stefan's room. The door is half open, and I decide to stop and say goodnight.

"Hey, I just wanted to say goodni-" I stop when I see him standing in front of me shirtless. I can tell he was in the process of getting dresses, because his strong arms grip the hem of a shirt he was clearly about to put on.

"Oh – sorry," I say, finding breathing suddenly unusually difficult. He pulls the shirt on smoothly, and then turns to look at me. "It's fine, I don't mind. Is there anything you need?" I shake my head.

"Just dropped in to say goodnight. So… goodnight!" I say, and I feel my cheeks heat up as I realize how pathetic I sound. Stefan smiles at me, and looks at me for a moment before saying, "yup, goodnight." I turn and walk out into the hallway.

"Oh, and Elena?" I stop and turn around as he comes to stand in the doorway of his room. "It's good to have you back." He turns into his room and I walk to mine, and as I get into bed I marvel over those 3 simple words. I love you. Who knew they would be the words that bring me back?


	4. Chapter 4

**yay! chapter 4! that makes 4 chapters in one week, which i hope will be the average amount per week... :) **

**I was in the mood for some cute moments of friendship ;)**

**enjoy!**

**Chapter 4**

When I wake up the next morning I feel so different. Sadness is no longer consuming me, and I find myself unusually happy and giddy – I'm in a perfect mood. And there is no other way I would like to start my morning. Even better – I can smell the fresh scent of jasmine perfume that marks every house Bonnie and Caroline enter – they always had a thing for jasmine.

"Bonnie!" I scream, running down the stairs and crashing into her. I hug her so strong I'm sure she's having trouble breathing, but she doesn't pull away. Instead, she grips me – if possible even tighter.

"Oh my god, I've missed you so much!" I practically scream into her ear, and I suddenly feel another pair of arms circling us, and me, Bonnie and Caroline stay like that for a moment, remembering the times when we did this every day.

"Does anyone feel like pancakes?" Stefan appears behind us and we jump apart, "cause if you don't hurry up and get them I'll eat them. They're really good," he says, talking to Caroline. I turn to her, surprised, "you can make good pancakes?" she looks at me, pretending to be offended, "of course I can! My pancakes are the best in the whole world!"

"Then again, you can't cook anything else, so it doesn't really count," Bonnie mutters under her breath, but we can all hear her and we laugh heartily. I look around at everyone.

"I've really missed this," everyone smiles and nods in agreement. We stand like that, quietly, until Stefan breaks the silence, "so do you want pancakes or can I eat them please?"

"Not all of them, I want some." Everyone turns to look at me in disbelief, and Caroline is the first to speak, "but you never eat pancakes!" I shrug, "there's a first time for everything, right?"

"Oh, come on! There are only two left!" Stefan whines playfully, and I look at him, pretending to be shocked.

"Is it possible? Is Stefan Salvatore actually smiling and… oh my god… _hanging out_ with other people like a normal teenager?" I tease, and he grins, and says, "I was just kidding," he lifts his hands up in fake surrender, "you go ahead." I smile back at him, and then reach out to grab his hand and pull him into the kitchen, "we can share," I say, and he smiles again. I take two plates and place a pancake on each one. I take a small bite out of mine, then gasp at the sweet taste it brings into my mouth, "wow, this is really good!"

"I know, right?" Stefan helps himself to a big bite of his own pancake. "Wait till you try it with the chocolate syrup," he reaches out to spread syrup on my pancakes, and then takes a bit on his finger and spreads it lightly on my nose. I laugh, grabbing the syrup from him and filling my hand with it, ready to pounce on him, when –

"Seriously? Were you guys planning on leaving us out of such a good syrup fight?" Bonnie and Caroline walk in and grab the syrup from my hands, pouring it into their own hands and pouncing on the two of us, leaving us laughing and full of chocolate. As I turn to get more from the counter I suddenly see Damon standing in the corner.

"Come here! Have some fun!" I yell over the screams and shrieks of laughter, but he just shakes his head.

"We all know I'm gonna have to clean this up afterwards, so I'd rather leave as little mess as possible," I pout, and shake my head. "No way. You are coming over here, and you are gonna have some fun. Right now." I don't wait for him to answer and squirt syrup on him right from the bottle, and he gives in, reaching out and spreading syrup along my cheek.

In that one moment of pure, simple joy, I almost manage to forget everything. I _almost_ forget about my mixed up feelings for the two Salvatore brothers. I _almost_ forget about the fact that I have no house to go to and live in. I _almost_ forget that I have no family – that I lost everyone, including Jeremy.

_Almost._

But not quite.

**sorry, it's kinda short :/**

**and the end isn't all fluffy and 'having fun with my friends' kind of thing... whatever, I like it that way ;)**

**hope you liked it! 3**


	5. Chapter 5

**wow... well, i had some time in school today so i sat down and wrote this chapter.**

**this one is... different than the last. well, let's just say a serious mood change occurs ;)**

**anyways, enjoy and tell me what you think!**

**Chapter 5**

Bonnie and Caroline leave to shower and change, and when me, Stefan and Damon finish showering we flop down onto the couch, me next to Damon and Stefan sitting right across us.

"Well… that was fun," says Stefan, and I nod with a small giggle. "I've never seen you so… loose. Both of you," I say, looking at them. It's true – they were always so serious and intent on saving the world they tended to forget what fun is. I, on the other hand, used to be the kind of girl that all she ever did was have fun. My life used to be one huge party. That is, until everything happened. Until my world turned upside down, everything I believed in changed, and I lost everything and everyone I had ever called family.

And just like that my good mood disappears. I'm suddenly getting lost in the blinding pain of the losses I suffered, and drowning in my own pool of sadness. The terrible truth I have been denying since I came back comes crashing down on me, and there is no way for me to avoid it any longer. There is no escape.

A scream of pure agony builds inside me, ripping my chest apart and tearing the pain out of me, and I let it go. I scream out my feelings, my suffering, my loneliness. I have no one. I have everyone. Nothing matters anymore. I just let it all out into one cry for help that erupts out of my chest.

"Elena! Elena, look at me. Everything's gonna be ok. You can make it. You just need to calm down."

"Damon. Let me handle this," Stefan says quietly, and he gets up and comes to crouch before me as I grip my chest and scream at the world, pulling at my hair and my face, wanting to end it all and find peace with myself and my terrible life.

"Elena, I need you to breath deeply, close your eyes, and think of what we did less than an hour ago. Think of how we had an amazing time, me, and you, Damon, Bonnie and Caroline. Remember it. Can you picture it?" I stop screaming and do as Stefan says. My breath comes out in shallow gasps, but I try to calm it as I picture Stefan rubbing syrup on my nose. I see myself responding with a huge smile. Then I see Bonnie and Caroline coming and filling us with chocolate. I see myself shriek with laughter as Damon chases me around the kitchen with his hands full of syrup. I see Stefan shake chocolate out of his hair, spraying us all with tiny little dots that represent the happiness I had felt.

"Yes," I say shakily, "I can picture it."

"Good. Now remember how you felt. Remember the feeling of happiness as it coursed through your veins, causing a pounding in your head and touching every nerve on your body while you had fun with your friends." I shake my head, "I can't."

"Yes you can. Elena," he reaches out to stroke my face, trailing his fingers down from the side of my forehead to my cheek to the hollow of my throat, trying to calm me down. I lean into his touch, needing to feel someone there. Damon stands next to me, watching with concern in his eyes as Stefan and I look at each other, my puffy red eyes meeting his steady encouraging ones.

"If you need to be reminded, we can do that. We can help you remember what having fun is like ," Stefan says gently, and I burry my head in my hands, trying to steady my breathing as I reach out towards the part of me that knows happiness, trying to get it to resurface.

Somewhere in a far corner of my brain I remember what being happy means. It means feeling whole. It means letting go of everything and accepting it, and letting myself do whatever I want. It means being free. And I am free.

_I'm free._

I'm free of the monster that I used to be.

I'm free of the evil that has been eating me up in the past few weeks.

And with Stefan and Damon's help I will be free of the sadness that tries to consume me every day.

I will be free.

I _am _free.

"Elena? Do you remember?" Stefan asks quietly, never taking his eyes off me as he stares, unwavering, looking for a sign that can prove to him that I am ok. I lift my head out of my hands. I nod.

"Yes." Stefan breathes a sigh of relief, and I can see that relief in his eyes, that still refuse to leave mine. Damon leaves the room, but Stefan and I continue to stare. Yes, that is exactly what I do. I stare at the man who always knows how to fix me. I might be a broken toy. But he always has the right pieces and tools to make me whole again. He fixes me.

A rag suddenly lands on Stefan's lap. We both look up and see Damon standing in the doorway. He points at the rag.

"We're all very glad Elena is ok," he comes up and slaps my back gently, "but the kitchen is still a huge mess, and seeing as you two started it – I am _not _planning on cleaning it up alone. So come on," he points at rag again, then does a wiping motion with his hand, "it's time to clean up." He winks and walks out again, and I find myself smiling a little.

I catch Stefan's eye one more time. _Thank you_. I say silently, and I know my gratefulness shows in my eyes. _You're welcome_ comes the silent reply. I smile. _Come on_, I gesture with my head towards the kitchen. Stefan nods and walks out the door, and I hear him turn to Damon in the kitchen.

I smile one more time, and then walk out the door to help them.

**sooo... did you like it? hope you did! **

**this one's also kinda short, but whatever... it's not that bad, right?**

**till next time! :)**

**:***


	6. Chapter 6

**here's the next one...**

**i'm sorry if i don't update as many times this week, my teachers seem to think we're supermen lately and have been totally overdoing it with the amount of homework and tests. i hope i can manage everything and still fit in a chapter or two.**

**anyways, thank you for the reviews, and don't worry, ****_emnka_****, that feelings talk will come soon. probably next chapter :)**

**enjoy!**

**Chapter 6**

"Jeremy," I breathe, "what are you doing here?" he's standing in the living room of the Salvatore house by the fire, a cup of whiskey in his hand, suddenly there.

"God… is it really you?" I whisper, and I feel my eyes prickle with upcoming tears as I look at my supposedly dead brother. He smiles, "I'm here. It's ok, Elena. We're ok." I still stare at him, refusing to believe he really is right in front of me in case it turns out not real.

"But… but you're dead. You _can't _be here."

"But I am. I'm here, Elena."

"No. it can't be."

"Elena," he reaches out, but I move away, "stop. This isn't possible. Stay away," I add as he tries again. Tears stream down my face, and I really do want him to come to me. I want him to hug me, and to be there for me. I want my brother back. But I can't afford to get him and then lose him again.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to help you."

"Help me?"

"Help you get over everything," he keeps his distance, but his familiar eyes bore into me, sending shivers of acknowledgment down my spine. He is, after all, my brother. I know him better than anybody.

"I'm here to help you get over your emotional state, because I hate to break it to you – it's a wreck. I'm here to help patch it up." I shake my head. No. he can't fix it. He's the one who caused it – not that he had any control over it. But he did still die and cause my emotional breakdown. And that caused all my emotional loss. But at that moment, I need to know if it's real.

"Jere, come here," I say quietly, and in one stride across the room he breaks any barrier I had put between us. I reach out, tentative, and bring my fingers to the tips of his pointy hair, playing with it and arranging it like I used to do to annoy him. With every hair sticking out in a different direction he looks, oddly enough, wildly handsome as always. He grins softly as I arrange it, savoring the feel of my skin on his. My brother. He really is here... But how?

"Is this possible?"

"Of course it is," he smiles playfully, "I'm here, right? And I couldn't be here if it wasn't, now could I?"

"You know what I mean," I sound desperate, but I don't care.

"Actually, I don't. Anything is possible. It depends – what are you referring to right now."

"Are you here?" I hold my breath, and he looks at me silently.

"You can see me, you can hear me, and talk to me. And you can feel me," he covers my hand with his, and a sudden warmth spreads through my skin and reaches the pit of my chest, settling right over my heart. He laughs, "Could I possibly be anywhere else?" I laugh shortly with a nod of my head, but I'm not satisfied.

"But that won't be enough for you, will it?" he voices my thoughts, and I marvel over how well he knows me. But then again, he was – is – my brother. I shake my head, wanting to speak, but terrified of what the answer to my question might be.

"Go ahead. Just ask away," he takes a step back and looks at me expectantly, my head just reaching his shoulders. I take a shaky breath, then nod.

"Are you… alive?"

He looks at me, a soft expression I don't like on his face. He smiles, but there's no humor in this smile. If anything, it radiates sadness more than happiness.

"Of course not, Elena. I'm dead. Silas killed me, and I died that day. I died." His words ring in my ears and my vision swims.

"But then… how can you be here?" I manage to say, "You're… you're dead." I nearly choke on the words, they burn coming out of my mouth. He nods with a mingle of sorrow and sadness, "yes. I am definitely dead."

"Then how can I see you? How am I talking to you?" he shrugs. I suddenly realize he's starting to disappear, and he's slowly getting farther away. I feel like I am being wrenched out of the living room, pulled by a force far more powerful than I can ever dream to be. I open my mouth and scream my brother's name one more time.

"Jeremy!" I wake up with a jolt, sweat coating my skin as I look around the room from my bed, but Jeremy is obviously no longer there.

**hope you liked it!**

**review please... ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**ahh i love this chapter! sooooo adorable! **

**enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 7**

"What're you doing here?" I ask Stefan, surprised to find him standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night. He shrugs, "I haven't gone to sleep yet, and I just came down to get a cup of water. Hold on – are you ok?" he says, noticing my small hiccups of uneven breathing. I nod, but I can tell it's a little wobbly.

"Just… just a bad dream," I say thickly. I shrug like it's nothing, trying to fight my emotions, but a small tear still manages to escape my eye somehow. I swipe at it furiously, refusing to give in to the sadness again. I just stand there for a moment, reminding myself that there is more to this world than just sadness and pain, just like Stefan told me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head, pursing my lips in an effort to choke down my sobs. "Elena… please talk to me." I shake my head again. I breathe in, then out, and in again. When I feel more in control I look up at him. I'm surprised when I see an expression of terrible sadness on his face as he watches me struggle in this fight against myself. He reaches out and gently catches a stray tear before it drips off my chin. He smiles softly, and I smile back.

I grasp his hand in my own and hold it up to my cheek, tilting my head into it and closing my eyes at the soft comfort his hand provides.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" he tries one last time. I open my eyes to look at him.

"Please… let's just talk about something – anything – else. Whatever you want. Anything but that."

"Ok," he nods in understanding. He pulls his hand gently out of mine and reaches out toward a cup on the counter behind me. My breath catches in my throat as his arm brushes the bare skin of my stomach, and I suddenly realize that I forgot to put on a real shirt – I was sure no one would be up. What I wear right now is a tank top so old and small it's barely more than a halter top.

"Uh… so what do you wanna talk about?" I manage, and he straightens out and turns to the fridge, and with his back to me says, "I don't know… graduation? Friends? Maybe just… this whole situation?"

"What do you mean?" he shrugs.

"We haven't really gotten the chance to talk about the two of us… or about you and Damon. And I don't mind," he says quickly, making sure I don't feel bad, "I don't mind. I just… there have been things I've been wondering about. And now that we have the chance… well, why not?"

I sigh. This is the part I was most afraid of.

"Stefan, I-"

"Look," he cuts me off, "if you don't want to we don't have to. It was just a suggestion."

"Well… where should I start?" I say awkwardly. He smiles in amusement.

"I'll start, if you need me to." I nod. He walks to the door and I follow him, curious. "Do you feel like taking a walk and talk?" he asks, holding his arm out to me. I smile and take his arm gladly, and he opens the door. We step out into the warm summer night. Stefan puts one hand in his pocket, but leaves his arm through mine.

"You should know something," he says quietly, "something about you and me. You might take it well and you might not, and I hope you'll be ok with it."

My stomach clenches and unclenches unpleasantly, and I wonder what he might be talking about.

He takes one more deep breath, and I look at him nervously out of the corner of my eye, grasping his arm tightly as we keep walking and he starts talking.

"I can't deny the truth anymore, Elena. I've been trying so hard the past few weeks, but I can't run away from it any longer. And the truth is… you've hurt me Elena. A lot. Probably more than anyone else has ever hurt me." My head buzzes with tense nervousness. Where could he be going with this?

"You've broken my heart time after time," he continues," and every time it was harder to mend than the last. And it was all because of you."

"Stefan, I-"

"I'm not done yet," he says, and I close my mouth and watch as he continues, "But just like you hurt me – and there were times it was so bad I really thought of giving up and turning it off – you were also the one thing that stopped me from doing it so much sooner. You gave my aching heart a purpose. You gave me something to center my emotions on. You gave me somebody to love.

"And as much as I tried to find a different solution, I just couldn't. It's like my heart is no longer capable of anything else – I can't help loving you." My heart starts beating faster. He looks at me with shining eyes, and I feel my eyes prickle with hot tears of relief. He opens his mouth one more time, "and you might feel the same and you might not. All I know for sure is – I love you." He finishes. He turns his head and stares off into the night as I look at him in wonder. We keep walking for a second, and I can tell he's nervous. Especially when I don't answer right away. But how am I supposed to? How can I express my feelings for him when they go far beyond what any word can describe?

"Stefan," I grasp his hand and pull him to a stop. He turns to look at me. I reach out and lace my fingers through his silky hair, and trail them down the side of his face. I hear his breathing stop for a second.

"There's something you should know too," I whisper, "and I don't know how to say it – because words will never be enough to describe… to describe just how much I love you." I pull him down and give him a kiss. Just a small one – but I channel all my feelings into it. "I love you," I say one more time, and then I sprint back to the house, leaving him behind.

When I look through the window a second later I suddenly notice where he's standing. He's standing right on the spot where we shared our first kiss of many, on one of the most amazing nights of my life.

I smile at the memory.

**next week i hope i can give you a little more than two chapters...**

**review to let me know what you thought! ;) **

**'till next time**

**:***


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**I'm gonna try starting this from Stefan's p.o.v this time.**

**I hope you like it, I really love this one! :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Stefan's p.o.v:**

I wake up with a huge smile. I just feel… beyond happy. Way beyond happy. I am overjoyed. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. I stay in bed, hands behind my neck, gazing at the wall, when a tiny knock on the door startles me.

"Stefan?" it's Bonnie. She steps in awkwardly, and I get up and sit on the bed. She stands in front of me. She takes a deep breath, "I think I might have found a solution for our… Elena problem." I look at her blankly, "what Elena problem?"

"You know… her emotions and all."

"Oh. What did you find?"

"A spell," I grin at her. "Yeah, I didn't expect anything else from a witch." She laughs with embarrassment. I get up from my bed and gesture towards the door. She walks out right away, and I walk right behind her, asking, "What spell are we talking about?" she turns and looks at me with a seriousness and fire in her eyes.

"A last chance spell, I suppose you could call it."

"What spell?"

"A last chance one. It's actually quite simple; I cast as many people as necessary back to any place and time I want – in this case, the island on the day we found the cure. One single person from the group has a chance to change one thing they did. Only one person – the second something is changed the spell will end, and we'll be back here." I ponder on her words. Only one person has the chance to change one thing… who should it be, and what should they change? Should I be more careful, not let Rebekah snap my neck, and then I can protect Elena when Katherine appears, thus ensuring Jeremy's safety?

"I think I should be the one to change something." I turn to look at Bonnie.

"What can you change?" she shrugs, "I can make sure to land well from the rope and not get injured. Then, I can protect Jeremy and still make sure Silas gets enough blood for us to take the cure. I just need to be awake." I nod.

"When can we do the spell?"

"Now, for all I care. I can go now, alone, and complete it before anyone else even wakes up." I look at her.

"You sure you're ready for this?"

"Of course."

"Then yeah… go now." She looks at me in shock.

"You're just gonna let me go? Just like that?" I shrug, "I trust you. Besides," I look at her softly, "anything that might help Elena is worth a shot."

"Ok." She runs off, grabbing her keys and opening the door. "Don't tell Elena!" she yells, right before slamming the door and running to her car.

I smile at the thought of doing this to Elena – going behind her back like that – for a good purpose of course. I never did that before.

I suddenly realize that Elena was expecting Bonnie – which meant that if she didn't come, she would start asking questions. She is still asleep, but she won't stay like that for long. She's gonna need a distraction. I grin at no one. I'm happy to give her one.

**Elena's p.o.v:**

"Get away from me," I moan, pulling my pillow over my eyes and turning over. I hear a short, familiar laugh, and even through my sleepy haze it still makes my heart beat faster. I open my eyes, and someone slowly pulls the pillow off my face.

"Morning, sunshine," Stefan looms over me, striking and more beautiful than ever with the sleep still clinging to his eyes and messing his hair. I grin at him.

"C'mere," I mumble, reaching out and grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him down for a kiss. His lips are warm and soft on mine, but also a little hesitant. I wrap my hands around his neck to bring him closer, savoring his touch, smell and taste. It all feels so normal. So good, and real. It makes me happy. It reminds me of the mornings when we woke up, still the new couple of the town, happy and excited after a long night of pure joy and love. And that's a great feeling, but there's only one problem with it – we're not a couple anymore.

"Oh god. Stefan, I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have done that," I say, breaking the kiss and touching my lips. He smiles softly, "it's ok. I like it," he whispers, pulling me down to another kiss. I smile against his lips.

He crawls across the bed so he's lying on top of me, never breaking the kiss that slowly gets desperate as we both reach out for each other. I tangle my fingers into his hair, my nails digging into his scalp, but he doesn't complain.

"Stefan," I pull away, breathless, and he gasps for air too. "We shouldn't be doing this right now."

"Doing what?" he mumbles, playing with a strand of my hair. I give him a look, and pull myself away from him. I instantly miss the feeling of him next to me, and I pull him up too. He grins at me.

"You ready to eat something?" I nod. As we walk down the stairs I suddenly realize that Bonnie was supposed to come today, and I look at him, "has Bonnie arrived yet?" he makes an 'I have no clue why are you asking me' face, but for some reason I get the impression he's hiding something.

"That's weird," I say, ignoring it, "she was supposed to come over to hang out."

"Whatever. I'm sure she'll come soon. Meanwhile," he wraps an arm around my waist, and I wrap my arms around his neck, ready for another kiss, "let's get something to eat." He winks, and I look at him with disappointment and amusement at the same time.

I watch him as he wanders around the kitchen, opening closets and getting out two bowls and two spoons. He reaches out for the box of cheerios on a top shelf, saying, "I hope you don't mind cereal. If you want something else we can prepare it, but this is just easiest." I can't help but notice a nervous edge to his voice, and I suddenly wonder if I should say something about last night.

"No, uh… that's fine. Whatever, I don't care." I manage, and he looks up at me, "is everything ok?"

"Yeah, it's just… do you regret it?" I blurt out. He just looks at me.

"Do I regret what?"

"Telling me you love me," I hold my breath. To my surprise, a smile plays around his lips, and a second later it turns into a laugh.

"How can you even ask that?" he says, but his smile vanishes when he sees I'm serious. "Of course I don't regret it. I love you, Elena. You need to know that, and understand it." I nod, and he reaches out to take my hand. He leans down, but once again the kiss doesn't come. Instead, his lips find my ear, "I love you. Always remember that."

"I love you back," I whisper.

A sudden buzz of his phone startles us and we jump apart. He takes one look at the screen and right away I can see the change in him. His posture relaxes, his lips play around in a small smile, and his eyes shine.

"Who is that?" I ask suspiciously. He grins at me, "just Bonnie saying she can't come over. Which means," he lifts me up, "we have even more times for ourselves." I grin, and decide to let it go.

He sits down on the couch and I sit on his lap, and we both share a bowl of cheerios with no milk and have a blood bag each. The whole time he seems so happy… unusually so.

"Why are you so happy?" I ask, leaning against his chest and letting him play with my hair. He shrugs.

"I'm with you," he says simply. And even though I have a feeling there's more than that, I can tell he isn't lying. I sit up and look at him.

"What are you hiding from me?" he looks at me, faking innocence, but we both know I won't fall for it. "What is it?"

"I can't tell you," he says, a mischievous smile playing around his lips.

"Come on! Tell me… please?" I say, doing my puppy eyes I know always break him. He purses his lips, holding back a smile, but shakes his head.

"Nope. That won't work this time."

"Then when will I find out?"

"Soon."

"When?"

"Now." A new, familiar voice joins. I jump up and scramble out of Stefan's lap, looking for the speaker. I look at Stefan, and I see him smiling a huge smile, his eyes full of love.

"I guess you'll find out now," he whispers.

Steps echo in the doorway, then a shadow appears, and I lose my breath as the person comes into view.

"Jeremy," I whisper.

**Review please ;)**

**Hope I can fit in a few more chapters this week…**

**:***


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Sorry about last week, I really had no time to do anything.**

**However, seeing as this is the last week of school for me I'm gonna have much more time and I think I can probably manage at least one more chapter this week :) **

**Enjoy!**

"So what I did was actually very simple," Bonnie explains, sitting on the couch. I sit across with Jeremy on one side, lying with his head in my lap and I play with his hair with one hand. The other is in Stefan's lap on my other side, and both his hands hold onto my still shaking ones. My eyes are still red from crying and my whole body still shaking from the shock, but with Stefan and my brother on both my sides I feel happier than I have felt in a while. A _long_ while.

"I went back to the cave where we found Silas, right before we climbed down the rope and I was injured. All I actually did was land well. I'm not sure what happened after that because the spell ended the second I made the change, and I found my self back in my room on my bed.

"After that I just went crazy… I had no idea if the spell worked out the way I wanted it to, and for some reason Jeremy still didn't come back. I was actually thinking of doing the spell again when you suddenly appeared next to me out of thin air," she whispers, looking at Jeremy. I look down at him and see him smiling at her softly, a dazed look on his face, as if he is remembering something as he looks at bonnie and she looks back. I see a silent message passing between them.

"Oh my god," I say, looking back and forth between them. "What happened between you two?" they both jump and Bonnie stifles a giggle as Jeremy fakes an innocent face which doesn't really work, seeing as I know him so well. Stefan chuckles quietly and gives my hand a small squeeze, as if to say, 'you know exactly what happened so just let it go rather than asking for details.'

"Nothing happened," Bonnie says, he voice strained form the effort to stop her laughter, and Jeremy bursts out in a hearty laugh.

"Come on! You _need _to tell me," I whine, "there is no way nothing happened… just look at yourselves!"

"Really, Elena… you know – the usual - a hug, some crying on my part… nothing serious."

"A kiss or two, but nothing more," Jeremy adds, still laughing, and Bonnie throws a pillow on him, though she has a huge smile on her face. Stefan cracks up and I just sit there, not sure if this should be horrifying me or making me very happy. At that moment I kind of feel a mixture of both as I look at the two of them, still laughing, and I hear Stefan laughing next to me. Bonnie's slightly pink but she looks so unbelievably happy. And Jeremy… he just seems to be saying 'I'm so glad I'm alive.' I definitely agree with him.

"What the hell… are you two like, back together? And I'm talking like – _couple_ back together?" I sound like Caroline, but I don't care. "How did this happen? And can you please stop laughing!" I say to Stefan, and he stops laughing right away, though the grin does stay on his face.

"What?" he shrugs. "It's funny," he looks at me with his smile that always drives me crazy, as if daring me to join him and just laugh. I meet his gaze evenly, refusing to let him win, but a few seconds later I feel my chest erupt with giggles, and they soon turn into a laugh that doesn't end. Stefan laughs again, and I clutch my side, laughing so hard I feel like I'm gonna burst. I really don't know what's so funny – all I know is that I feel really happy right now.

Neither of us notices Jeremy and Bonnie looking at us, clearly putting the pieces together as their eyes wander from our entwined hands to my smiling face to his. Understanding dawns in Bonnie's eyes as I look at her through my laughter, and once again I see the silent message passing between her and Jeremy.

"Finally," I hear Jeremy mutter, a smile in his voice. I look down at him, slowly calming myself down.

"Finally what?" I ask, looking at him. He meets my gaze and I see he's smiling. "What are you talking about?" he shrugs.

"Well, I'm under the impression you two are back together. Correct me if I'm mistaken." He says, and I smile at the way it sounds. Yes, I suppose we are back together. And it's so good to hear it.

"So what's up with you two?" Bonnie says, also smiling. "How are you doing?" she looks back and forth between me and Stefan.

"How are we doing?" I say, reaching out to stroke Stefan's hair. He catches my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing it softly and looking into my eyes.

"You two are so adorable," Bonnie breathes. I smile at her.

"We're doing great."

**Hope you liked it!**

**it's kind of short... i hope it's not too bad!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Yay! next chapter!**

**i'm sorry if the beginnign kind of drags on, i just felt the need to put in some explanations rather than writing chapetr about what happens.**

**i hope it's ok :/**

**enjoy!**

**Chapter 10**

The past two weeks have been amazing. Not because my brother is back (though that's definitely a big part of it), not because it's quiet and we have time to ourselves, and yes – not just because I'm back with Stefan (though that's a huge part of it). No. what made this week so great is that for the first time in a long time, I'm myself again. And Stefan has a big part to play in that.

Because everyone thinks Jeremy died in the fire that destroyed our house he hasn't been able to leave the house and go anywhere, but none of us mind it for now. we're fine just hanging out in the house and letting Caroline do the shopping for us. not that we have mich choice, seeing as she refuses to let us do anything alone.

Damon, meanwhile, disappeared right after he saw Jeremy was back. None of us know why, but Stefan says we just need to give him some time. He's had a rough few months.

So now I wake up every morning simply and easily to the sound of _life_. The first things I hear when I open my eyes are small, but they mean so much to me. I hear Jeremy wandering in the kitchen downstairs, pigging on anything he can find. I hear Bonnie or Caroline walk through the door, and usually I hear Bonnie running to Jeremy, and I can hear the muffled grunt that escapes his mouth when she crushes him with a hug. I can hear Stefan coming up the stairs to wake me up when it's past 11. but most of all, I can hear and feel my heart beat fast with excitement every time I'm near Stefan, and anxiously every time I'm not next to my brother. And that beating heart, for me, symbols that fact that I am still really and truly _alive_.

"Time to wake up, sleeping beauty…" sunlight floods the room as Stefan draws the curtains to reveal the sun shining at its brightest at noon. I open my eyes and smile at Stefan.

"Hi there…" I whisper, sleep scratching my throat. I stretch and Stefan comes to sit on the bed next to me.

"Hey," he answers back, leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek. His kiss stays there even after he pulls away. I grin at him, "So what are we gonna do today?" I wait for the usual smile that greets the word 'we' but this time I don't get it. Instead he averts his eyes.

"Elena… I don't think we'll be doing anything today." I sit up.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, it's just-"

"Don't do that," I warn, looking into his eyes and seeing that they look tired and miserable. "Something's wrong, I can tell. Come on… you can talk to me, you know that."

"Of course I know that," he says, his voice cracking. He looks at me helplessly, "it's just… I don't think you should be involved in this business." He shrugs as if it's nothing, but I can tell it's more than nothing. Much more than that.

"Tell me what's wrong." I say, cupping his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me. He shakes his head. "Tell me and I can help you," I say softly. He purses his lips for a second and then nods.

"Damon… he came back." My heart stops at the way he says it.

"Is he ok?" I ask, starting to freak out when he just looks at me. He shakes his head, "he's been bitten by a werewolf."

"Oh god… oh no, not again! We need Klaus. Have someone call Klaus now, and-"

"Elena," he says softly, "he won't take the blood even if we call Klaus."

"What – why?" he looks at me sadly.

"He says he wants to die." A tear drips down his cheek, and I feel my eyes water too. "What?" I squeak, "no, no way. Why would he want to die? Oh god," I say, suddenly realizing something, "It's because of us… because we're together, right?"

"I don't know, Elena," Stefan sounds desperate, "I don't know. If I knew, I could fix it – or at least try."

"Can I talk to him? Maybe I can figure it out. Please," I say, watching Stefan's face change as he prepares to say 'no'. I look at him softly.

"Nothing will happen to me from talking to him."

"I know," he says, "it's just… please be careful," I give him a kiss. "I'll be fine. Where is he?"

"In his room." I give him another hasty kiss on the lips and run out my door, still wearing my PJs.

"I love you," I say as I step out of the room. "I love you too," comes his response from inside.

* * *

"Damon," I say quietly, stepping into the cold, dark room. He lifts his head from the pillows and looks at me for a second before letting it fall carelessly back into the pillows.

"Elena," he says, his voice raspy. "So how have you been doing?" he asks conversationally, as if he doesn't matter at all.

"I've been doing well, actually. I missed you, but it was fine. You, on the other hand," I say, walking slowly and sitting down on the edge of his bed, "look terrible. What happened to you?" I say, reaching out to touch his burning, sweaty forehead. I can see the bite mark on his wrist, red and swollen and full of dry blood. He chuckles humorlessly, "what do you care about me? You left me in the dust, just like everybody else."

"That's not true and you know it. I never wanted to leave you or hurt you," I say, trailing my fingers around the wound gently. He winces as my cold fingers touch the edge of the expanding mark, and I move them right away.

"So how come I _did _get hurt in the end? How come, once again, I was left alone?"

"I'm sorry, Damon-"

"Don't be sorry," he says, "I don't need your pity. I just want to understand – what's wrong with me?" tears stream silently down his cheeks as he looks at me. He talks slowly, and his breath comes out in shallow gasps. I sigh.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Damon. You're amazing. You're strong, and powerful, and independent, and you have a good heart, even if your hands are dripping with blood." He chuckles again.

"Funny you should say that, seeing as your boyfriend has over a hundred victims."

"Yes, he does," I agree. "But he regrets killing them every single day of his life. And I _love _him for that."

"And you don't think I regret the lives that were lost because of me?" he snaps, and I wince at the hurt in his voice. There is no anger, no fury – just a pure need to understand what he did wrong.

"Damon, I understand that you're hurt," I say, reaching out to touch his arm, but it's burning and I let go quickly, "but that doesn't mean you need to die because of it. I do still love you. You _have _to understand that I love you. Don't you dare think I don't. And I don't want to lose you. It's just… I loved Stefan first. He was there, and from the second I saw him I just-"

"Felt something click, fell in love with his eyes, blah blah blah, all those love at first sight things. Yeah, I get it. But what I don't get," his voice grows stronger, "is how come it's always him. He _always _gets the girl."

"Damon-"

"Do you know that in my whole life, no one other than my mother ever loved me more than they loved him? And those who did, well… they were sired, or compelled, or didn't know who I really was, etc. etc." he looks so sad, my heart breaks.

"Damon, I'm sure there were several women in your life who truly loved you. I truly loved you, and I still do. Why don't you just close your eyes, and think back to the best times of your life, when you had a woman that you cared about and you knew she cared about you. Do it," I urge, and he closes his eyes. I see his face relax as he enters the past in his mind, and I watch his expressions as he remembers. His eyes suddenly burst open.

"Rose," he says, looking at me.

"Who?"

"Rose," a small, sad smile spreads on his face when he mentions her name.

"Rose as in, kidnapped me for Elijah, ran away when we needed help and then tried to kill me when she was dying? That Rose?" I say, confused. He nods.

"I had no idea you cared about her,' I say, looking at him softly. He looks back sadly, "neither did I… until I lost her." His face suddenly lights up, and he finds the strength to reach out and grab my hand. I jump at his burning skin, but I don't move away.

"Tell Caroline to call Klaus, I'll take his blood."

"Really?" I say, surprised at the sudden change of events.

"Yes. But on one condition."

"Which?" he turns to look at me pleadingly.

"Tell Bonnie to do the same spell she did to save Jeremy. Please… bring Rose back to me."

**that's it for now!**

**this one was longer than the others... **

**i hope you liked it!**

**review please and let me know what you think of Rose coming back... ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Neeeext chapter! :)**

**god, this one was hard to write... you'll see why soon ;)**

**enjoy!**

**Chapter 11**

"Take the blood, Damon," Stefan says, his voice soothing yet commanding as he crouches over Damon's bed with a cup of Klaus's blood. Damon just shakes his head. His skin is raw and red, and it's coated with sweat, yet he's still shivering. Any vampire can hear his heartbeat fading and slowing down. We've wasted so much time on getting Klaus and attempting to persuade Damon, he doesn't have much time left before the bite kills him. And yet he still refuses, lying in bed and staring into space, occasionally mumbling something about a spell, Rose, or some other random things none of us understand.

"I can't take it until I see Rose… I have to see her first. To know that she's here," he mumbles feverishly. We all look at him sadly. I understand how much he wants to see her already, however there's one problem with that – "Damon, for the spell to work you need to go back and save her from Jules. Sadly, I don't think you'll be able to do that if you die from the bite," Stefan says quietly. Damon just continues staring into space and smiling goofily for no apparent reason.

Stefan looks up at me, face radiating sadness and desperation. He shrugs his shoulders in defeat, as if to say 'what else do I have left to do?' I gesture a stuffing motion with my hand – 'force feed him!' he shakes his head. 'I can't do that' he mouths. He tilts his head in thought, looking slowly from me to Damon.

"Come and give me a hand," he says, and reaches out to hand me the cup. I take it with a sigh and sit down on the edge of the bed. Damon still ignores me, continuing to stare into space and mutter under his ragged breath.

"Damon," I say gently, trying to catch his attention," you need to take the blood now. If you don't take it now you're gonna die, and then we won't be able to save Rose. Only you can save her. Besides," I say, my voice cracking, "I need you to take this. I need you to live – we all do," Damon finally looks up at me. His eyes, once such a piercing blue, are red and swollen, and they already hold death in them. And yet they are still able to look at me closely, scan every inch of my face, and then pass to Stefan's and from him to Bonnie. I know exactly what he sees when he looks into every face – desperation, terrible sadness, and fear of what might happen if he doesn't take the blood soon. Our faces must make him realize how little time he has left, because he nods slowly. We all breath a sigh of relief, but our happiness is short lived when a sudden spasm passes through Damon's body and causes him to gasp for air as he struggles against the sudden lack of oxygen.

"Give him the blood now, Elena!" Stefan yells over Damon's strangled screams. I try to bring the cup close to his face, but his arm suddenly spasms and the cup nearly flies out of my hand.

"I can't do it!" I yell back, desperately trying to find a way to give it to him, "he keeps on pushing it away!"

"Hurry up!" Stefan bellows as Damon starts turning blue and his grip on the edge of the bed starts to slacken. I stick my hand in the cup and dip my fingers into the foggy crimson liquid. When I pull them out they are covered in Klaus's blood.

"Here, Damon. Take this... please take it!" I scream as I stuff my hand into his mouth, but he doesn't suck the blood off. His lips get stained red as I desperately try to get him to take the blood, but he just lies there, shaking uncontrollably.

"Damon! You have to take this! You have to live…" I sob. I reach out to stroke his face, trying to get any sort of reaction out of him. As suddenly as they started the spasms stop, and an eerie silence spreads as we all look at Damon's pale, blood stained face.

"Damon," my voice sounds higher pitched than usual. I look at Stefan, my vision swimming again. His eyes are big and full of tears, and he looks at his brother in shock.

"Give him the blood, Elena," he says quietly.

"Stefan, I tried – but he wouldn't take it… I'm so sorry."

"Give it to him, trust me. He's not dead – he _can't _be dead," he whispers. I look at him sadly, "I'm sorry… but we're too late," I whisper back. He looks up at me, and I see a slightly crazy glint in his eyes. He shakes his head.

"No!" he yells, turning around and punching the wall, leaving a hole. "No, he can't be dead. He just can't - do something!" he yells at Bonnie, "bring him back!" Bonnie doesn't move, but only cries silently into her hands as we watch Stefan's breakdown.

"Stefan, he's dead. There's nothing we can do," I say through my sobs. He turns to look at me.

"Give him the blood."

"Stefan, it's too late –"

"Trust me." I do as he says. I bring my bloody hand to Damon's mouth, praying that he'll somehow wake up and drink it. For a second there is silence, and no one moves as we stare at Damon, waiting for something to happen. But nothing does. Stefan cradles his face in his hands, and his sob pierces the silence of the night.

"I'm sorry," I whisper again. Just as I'm about to move my hand another hand suddenly grabs and holds it firmly in place. I turn to look at it in shock, and I realize the hand was Damon's.

"Oh my god," I squeak, "hang on, he's not dead!" Stefan looks up at us.

"Come on," I say as I wait for Damon to take the blood, "come on…" his lips latch around my hand and his tongue licks off every drop of blood there was on my hand. My cries turn into a watery, hysterical laugh as I watch the marks the wound left start to fade.

"Yes! He's ok… he's ok!" I say, and start crying all over again. Stefan gets up from his perch on the floor and comes to look at Damon. Damon's eyes open slowly, and as he looks at our tear streaked faces he has the nerve to burst into a wild, crazy, overjoyed laugh. I join in, and so does bonnie, but Stefan remains silent, staring at his brother.

"Stefan!" I say shocked when he slaps Damon hard across the face, "what the hell was that?! Your brother nearly died and all you can do is slap him?" Stefan ignores me, and leans in close to his brother's face.

"Don't you _ever _scare me like that again. Because if you do, I will kill you," he says. For a second Damon just looks at him, but then he just starts laughing again. He punches Stefan's shoulder back, _hard_, and this time Stefan joins in to the laughter.

"What on earth just happened here?" Bonnie says, voicing my thoughts. I look at her exasperated face, a mirror to mine.

"I have no clue," I answer, "But it turned out ok in the end."

* * *

I can hear Bonnie's chanting from the living room even from outside, but I push it away from my mind as Stefan and I continue walking hand in hand in the cool summer breeze.

"Are you ok?" I ask gently, looking at him closely. I'm not surprised at how shaken he seems. Stefan might act like he hates his brother, and resent him for messing up his life in so many ways, and not know what to think about him most of the time – but in the end, Stefan loves Damon. And the thought of losing him tears him apart.

"I'm fine now," he says, giving my hand a gentle squeeze, "but the question is – are you ok? That probably made your emotions really mixed up and hard to bear, and I'm surprised you haven't had any breakdowns yet." I think about what he said. He's right – that should have triggered something in my jumble of unbalanced emotions, and it should have affected me somehow, but for some reason I feel fine. I'm controlling the emotions.

"I'm good," I say, reassuring him, "I somehow managed to get over that mess today and deal with the emotions."

"I'm really proud of you," he says, stopping to look at me. He leans down and places a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose, whispering, "I think you've finally learned control." I nod slowly, suddenly out of breath from how close he is. When did he get so close? Whatever, I don't care. All I want to do is kiss him right now.

"Stefan," I whisper, but whatever I wanted to say escapes my mind as he leans in and kisses me. His hands find my neck and they burn, searing hot, against my skin. I reach out and wrap my hands around him, wanting him as close as possible. I gasp when his hands travel down from my neck, stopping right in the center of my lower back and slowly and gently lifting me up into the air. I wrap my legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. My hair covers his face, but he doesn't complain, and I don't care. All that matters right now is him.

"Listen," he suddenly breaks the kiss, and we both gasp for air. I groan quietly and try to pull his lips back down to mine, but he holds back, tilting his head towards the house.

"Listen," he says again, and I give up and try to hear whatever he hears. I focus on the house, and for a second it's just a jumble of noises, but then it all arranges itself and I can tell what's going on. I hear a silent sob – a woman's voice is whispering something.

"Damon… oh my god, I've missed you so much!" it says. I know that voice.

"Do you hear it?" Stefan asks quietly. I turn to him and nod, smiling. He smiles too.

"Come on," I say, tugging on his arm and pulling him towards the house, "let's go say hi to Rose. I haven't seen her in quite a while."

**Yay! happy ending for this chapter!**

**i bet you were afraid Damon would die, right? **

**i hope you were, cause that was kinda the point! :p**

**let me know what you thought!**


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